Epic Conference 2005

We just returned from Southern California yesterday. This year's Epic Conference was held out there over MLK weekend. I didn't think it was possible to be so mentally tired that one could not think, no matter how hard one tried...but that's how I felt after the Conference was over. Directing a conference is more work than I imagined. More work than I care for, really.

On the subject of being tired, I used to think that was a bad thing. Somehow, to be tired meant that something was going wrong. If things are well, why would one be tired? That was stupid thinking, by the way. We grow tired, regardless of circumstance. Energy and passion is an expendable resource. Renewable, but expendable. Most of my life, I've tried to hoard my "energy and passion" and to spend it at times of my choosing (usually times when it would benefit me the most).

What a difference I see in how Jesus spent his. The times that I see him pulling away from the masses, even his own disciples, all came after great investments of his time and energy in others. The tiredness that I feel after giving something to others, of investing in others feels somehow different than the tiredness I feel when pursuing my own ends. Late night conversations with college students while at a conference gave me a recent reminder of this. I pray that He can teach me to be more giving, more generous, and more gracious with my energy and my passions.